My Son's Birthmom

So, if you have read the "About" tab here on my blog, then you know that I am a mom through adoption and not through biology. My journey through infertility has been a hard one, but I am so thankful that I have children and that I have been able to experience (for the most part) what it means to be a mother.

Both of our children have semi-open adoptions, which means that we have some contact with their birthparents. We pray for their birthparents often and the topic of adoption, in our family, is a very open one. Last Friday we had the honor of meeting my oldest son's birthmom for the first time. The actual meeting wasn't very emotional for me (or my son), but afterwards I felt like I had a lot to process. The old feeling about infertility reared its ugly head again...the feeling of being broken, not a women, barren, etc...

 It was hard to think about another person carrying him and giving birth to him. The nice thing is that I got to hear more about his birth story. I understand more about him because I know what he went through being carried and born.

Being able to be a doula has been really healing for me. I feel like I get to be a part of something that I missed out on. Yeah, it's not exactly the same, but it is an amazing job. Sometimes I feel like women won't want me as their doula since I have never personally experienced labor or birth, but I have come to realize that every women's journey is unique to her and if I added my own birth experience would only take away from hers.

So what did I learn about meeting my son's birthmom? I was reminded that it takes more than labor and delivery to be a mom, and that his birth story and his birthmom are apart of him, too.

Motherhood, no matter how it comes to you, is extremely hard and overwhelmingly rewarding!