Expectations. They can lift you up or let you down. I am all too familiar with expectations that haven't been met, but most recently I was faced with some doula expectations that let me down. I had planned on shadowing a birth with my doula mentor very recently, but she called to let me know that her client changed her mind and rather than have me attend, she wanted to have her friends there. I was bummed. I was feeling very sorry for myself, especially since two weeks ago I missed another birth. But then a thought came to me. If that is how that mom wanted her birth story to go, who was I to feel bad about that. The main job of a doula is to help a mom (and dad) achieve her birth plan however she defines it. Her birth story didn't include me and that is ok.
A lot of people have expectations when they are pregnant and they can feel let down too. Maybe a pregnancy ends in miscarriage or stillbirth. Maybe the baby is the "wrong" gender. Maybe the baby is born with a disability. Or maybe the birth story doesn't happen as planned. All of those circumstances can be devastating. It is hard to find hope. But hope does remain. Our expectations change or we change.
My reproductive history is just peppered with bad circumstances and un-met expectations, but that does not define who I am. Just like being a doula does not define who I am. It is a part of who I am, but thankfully, there is much, much more to me. So with that, I look forward to the next time I get to attend a birth, but all my hopes are not set on it.
No comments:
Post a Comment