Journey in Adoptive Breastfeeding: Part 4

13 months...that's how long I have been pumping. The year really flew by. There were many times I just felt like giving up, mostly on trips when finding time to pump was harder and storing pumped milk was nearly impossible. But I haven't given up yet, in fact it has been so incorporated into my lifestyle that it feels almost like brushing my teeth or eating breakfast. It is just something that I do everyday...6 times a day.

Here is an update on our adoption process...
(Click here to catch up if you don't know what is going on: Part 3)

The summer has been really hard. I felt like I was holding my breath, waiting for Miles' birthmother to call and let us know what was going on. The last time the social worker spoke with her was early April. She hadn't been to the doctor but thought she was 6ish months pregnant. She scheduled her first prenatal appointment shortly after the social worker's visit. Then, well, she fell off the face of the earth. Radio silence. The adoption agency tried to contact her several times with no returned call. Lance and I decided to just wait through July and maybe she would contact us after the baby was born. July has come and gone with no word from her. So, we have moved on (as much as you can) and we are back on the waiting list.

It has been so emotional to go through two missed adoptions. Much harder than I could have imagined. But the pumping must go on...

There have been blessing as I have waited.

I've had to rely on others more emotionally theses past months, which is harder for me. I am usually the one who people can rely on.

I've had to take a break from doula-ing because of the uncertainty of the adoption. This allowed me to enjoy my summer fully with my kids and husband without being distracted.

I was able to donate milk to several mothers who either adopted a baby or didn't produce enough milk on their own. That was really rewarding to know that my milk is helping another baby and momma.

I have been able to normalize pumping/breastfeeding for my children. My hope and prayer for my boys is that for the rest of their lives they view breasts differently than the typical American culture.

So the journey continues...still...